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We experience rejection every day. Whether we are unable to find that key ingredient we need in the supermarket or we get dumped, it will usually sting a little. As they say, %*!# happens!, events and other people are out of our control, but we can decide how we mentally respond to a situation.
At SuperGrad, we get a lot of people coming in for interviews determined to become exceptional recruitment consultants. They are punchy, engaging and they all say that resilience is one of their strongest features. Even though they may believe that, if they don’t get past their first interview, they will often get upset and have a change of attitude. Although this is understandable, there is a healthier way of looking at the world when it doesn’t seem to have gone our way.
If you didn’t get the job, you’re not any worse off. Actually, you’re better off.
There is always value in “NO” if you look for it. Many people instead take it way too seriously and think that it’s a validation of their poor competences. Others just get mad and think it’s unfair. But the ones who will evolve from receiving a “NO” are those who see the value in it.
Let’s dissect “NO”. So we have:
1. An answer to what we asked for. Is it negative? Yes. Is it a bad thing? No. It’s only natural that we will get a mixed bag of ‘yes’ and ‘no’s in our lives. If we fall into a pit of depression every time we get a ‘no’, then we’re wasting half of our time being upset. And we don’t want that.
2. Validation of one or more mistakes. Is it bad to make mistakes? Some may believe it is, but it’s actually the main way we learn and here lies the value of “NO”. Mistakes carry the clues as to how you can evolve, learn, and do it better next time. If you struggle to see the value, then you need to start looking at it from a different perspective.
3. Emotional response. This is the way we process “NO”. If we take it too personally and feel offended, annoyed or hurt, then it’s likely we will not be in the right mindset to see the value and instead just take the pain. So wipe the tears away when you walk out of the interview room and instead focus your attention on the learning. Choose value and let go of the pain.
There’s nothing negative in what “NO” means, if you’re looking at it from the right perspective.
It can often seem impossible to see the value, we are all human after all, but we must appreciate it is a choice – we get to choose how we think and it’s how we think about it that will determine whether see the value or take the pain. Don’t get us wrong, we would really love it if you aced all of your interviews. That would be great! But that’s unlikely in the real world, so why not change your thinking so that your NO’s help you move forward rather than hold you back?